How Much Does Dating Actually Cost?
Drinks, dinners, dating apps, gifts, getting there. Modern dating is one of the easiest places for money to disappear without notice — especially in the early months. See what yours adds up to.
Modern dating has a real price tag
Dating used to mean a coffee or a walk. Today it's a paid app subscription to even meet someone, a curated outfit, a thoughtfully chosen restaurant, an Uber both ways, and the unspoken pressure to pick somewhere nice. Whether you're casually dating, deep into the talking-stage, or six months in, the numbers add up — and most people genuinely have no idea what theirs are.
Dating apps
Premium tiers run $15–$40/month each, and many people stack two or three. That's $400–$1,000 a year before a single date.
First dates
A dinner-and-drinks first date in a city now averages $80–$120 with tip. Multiply by even a few a month — and most don't lead anywhere.
Gifts & "small things"
Flowers, birthdays, anniversaries, "thinking of you" moments. In a relationship this is often $50–$150/month — quietly $1,000+ a year.
Did you know?
- Recent surveys put the average annual cost of actively dating in a US city at $1,500–$3,500 per person — higher in NYC, LA, and London.
- People who pay for two or more dating apps spend, on average, ~25% more on dates themselves than people who use one free app.
- The "first 90 days" of a new relationship are typically the highest-spend period of the entire relationship.
Realistic monthly examples
2 first dates, 1 second date, app subscription, transport. Annual ≈ $2,640.
4–5 dates, two app subscriptions, occasional gift, regular Ubers. Annual ≈ $4,800.
Frequent dinners, weekend plans, small gifts, shared transport. Annual ≈ $6,600.
Travel to see each other, weekends out together, gifts. Long-distance often quietly hits $8,000+ a year.
The social pressure layer
A lot of dating spending isn't really about dating — it's about what dating "should" look like on social media or to friends. Picking the trendy restaurant. The thoughtful gift. The aesthetic weekend trip. Most of it is genuinely lovely; some of it is performance.
Knowing the actual number isn't about cutting back — it's about choosing where the money matters. A long walk and a bottle of wine often beats a $200 tasting menu, and most people in long, happy relationships will tell you exactly that.